I recently had a discussion with my 18 yr old son about judging others. He’d found out something someone had done, that he didn’t agree with. What they did really bothered him. He asked my opinion of what they did, I didn’t think it was a big deal. I told him that what this person did isn’t a bad thing and I tried to understand why it bothered him so bad. He wasn’t even sure why it bothered him so bad. The conversation then turned to, ” Dude, be careful how you judge. It will come back to bite you in the butt.”
Judging is a natural thing I think we all do. Often the first thing that comes to my mind when someone cuts me off on the road is, “idiot.” But really, it’s not my place to judge.
Matthew 7:1-5 says
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.
Boy, have I felt verse 2. At times I feel judged in similar ways that I’ve judged others… so not fun. Some people may call it KARMA but I call it a lesson from our Heavenly Father. This clip, done by Studio C, is quite funny. Over exaggerated, but totally true. Consequences may not come immediately but I am a true believer that lessons will be taught, you just have to choose if you’re going to learn something from them.
Here are a few experiences I’ve learned from over the years:—————————————————
I loved going to my grandmas house for holidays and other get togethers when I was young. I had fun playing with my cousins and eating all the yummy food my grandma would make. When I got a little older, my teenage years, I remember my grandma started to get a little grumpy and got on our case to help clean up. As a teenager I thought, “what’s her problem. I didn’t make this mess. Plus her house is always clean, what’s a little mess like this?” I feel so bad thinking any of those thoughts. Over the years owning my own home and hosting many Holiday parties here, I realize how she felt- Cleaning like a crazy person, trying to get the whole house to a point that I feel good to let people roam as they please and making sure it’s pleasant to be here. All this to be destroyed and have to do it all again by the time everyone leaves. EXHAUSTING! Now I know why she would get on our case to help clean up. She got sick of cleaning up just to clean up again. I try to help as much as I can when someone hosts a party in their home, because I know the stress hosting can bring.
How many times have you been driving down the road and you come up behind someone who is driving super slow? “Come on grandpa, get moving”, is the thought that goes through your mind. Well, I’ve been there too, in the slow moving car I mean. About 14 years ago we owned a big old truck that I always drove around because I didn’t drive as much as my hubby, so he took the car that was less of a gas hog. Anyway, this truck was a pile of junk, as grateful as I was for it. It took some getting used to, as it was a stick shift that wouldn’t always shift correctly, often causing me to be slow after stopping at a stop light. Sometimes it would even die when I would be idling at a stop light, that stunk. I was always worried it would die on me in the middle of a busy road, causing anxiety every time I drove the darn thing. During this time of owning the truck I was working at Highland High in the preschool where I could take my son with me to work. One day people were talking, as they came into work, about how some idiot left their truck blocking part of the parking lot. When we went outside for outdoor play I noticed my truck was in a weird spot, likely the truck people were talking about. I felt horrible and ran out to see what had happened. I had left the stupid thing in neutral and it rolled into someone else’s car, ripping off part of her bumper. I couldn’t believe this. I was the idiot everyone was talking about and I had no idea. I’ve had other car issues as well, so I am very careful how I judge others on the road. I catch myself when “idiot” comes to mind, and think about why they might be doing that.
I remember a time when I was young (maybe 12 yrs old) and stopped by a house, one that I didn’t normally go to. When this person answered the door I was consumed by an awful poopy smell. I was very quick to judge, I couldn’t believe these people lived this way thinking they were just dirty icky people. Now, as a mother of 5- well I realized this many years ago as a mother of 2- I am sure that she had likely just changed a poopy diaper. This wasn’t how their house smelled all the time and they were probably paranoid that I could smell it. Isn’t it funny how people choose the best time to stop by. They never come when the house is spotless and you have the lovely smelling candle going. It’s always right after you change a poopy diaper or the kids just got home from school and have left their trail of shoes, socks, backpacks, etc. OR on Sundays when the kids still pull stuff out but think they don’t have to clean anything up because they, “want to keep the Sabbath day holy”. Maybe I’m just cursed for life because of those judgments so long ago, LOL.
I learned a new word in a KSL.com article by Kim Giles, it’s confabulate. The article says, “In psychology, to confabulate means to produce a fabricated, distorted or misinterpreted view of reality, and we all do this, to some degree, every day. It’s therefore very important you don’t believe everything you think because a large portion of your thinking isn’t true and is creating self-inflicted misery in your life.” Those first, judgmental thoughts that come to your mind, I believe, are confabulation. We can choose to take a step back and evaluate the situation being very careful where we let those thoughts take us.
In John chapter 8 is the story where Christ is in the temple teaching people, when the Pharisees bring to Him a woman taken in adultery. They tell Him that by Moses’ law she should be stoned and asked what He thinks they should do. Verse 6 says, “This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him.” As if they were trying to trick Him. Maybe they had even set this woman up on purpose to give reason for Christ to accuse. Christ stoops down and draws in the dirt, like He was ignoring them but I think He was thinking about what should be done, maybe even inquiring of Heavenly Father in His heart. The men kept asking. Then in verse 7 Christ says, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” The Pharisees then left, as they themselves were not perfect, leaving Christ and the woman. Verse 10 says, “When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? (11) She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”
No one is perfect, and we all have our own problems, sins, shortcomings to worry about. We should concentrate on perfecting ourselves before we pick out the imperfections of others. I choose to think about the judgments that come to my mind and evaluate the situation, give people the benefit of the doubt. As I am not perfect, this will be a lifelong goal. I strive to love people for who they are and do my best to bless others through my strengths rather than try to strengthen myself through their weaknesses.
SEE THE HAPPY!